The Dumbest Smart Person
by Kyoko Kasshu Minamino
Summary: Calvin realizes she's still the dumbest smart person he's ever met. Two shot. CalvinSpooner.
1. The Dumbest Smart Person

**The Dumbest Smart Person**

"Ow ow **ow**! You don't have _any_ idea what you're doing, do you?"

"You're one to talk."

"I may never have done this before, but I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to feel like this."

Spooner rolled his eyes. He moved upward again and Calvin gritted her teeth, grabbing a fistful of the covers. She hissed and he winced a bit, mumbling an apology.

Calvin leaned her head back and groaned, letting her breath out long and slow. "Why did I even agree to this? I have people back at USR who are paid to do this."

Spooner arched an eyebrow at her. "I thought you people only fool around with robots?"

She shot him a glare. "Are you done yet?"

"We have **got** to work on your people skills." He stood and shuffled off to the kitchen. Calvin sat forward and examined her injured ankle, wincing as she noticed the nasty pink color it had turned. She hoped to God it wasn't broken. A broken ankle was not going to work well with all the walking that was involved at her job. Though admittedly, since the whole fiasco with Sonny and V.I.K.I, she'd been thinking about leaving more and more as the days passed. There had been thousands of lawsuits and riots ever since and it was all beginning to fatigue her.

Spooner returned with a rather old looking roll of bandages in his large hand, scooting his chair closer and sitting in front of her wordlessly. Calvin observed him for a moment. Their relationship had become a little more cordial as of late, but it was virtually the same. They still managed to get into arguments at every encounter, but she understood him better now that she knew about Sarah and the car accident. He, however, seemed to show no change in regards to her. The sessions his superior, John, had insisted that he take with her did not resolve their completely opposite views.

Spooner picked her leg back up and shifted her ankle around while she clenched her teeth and bit back another sarcastic remark. Once it became aligned again, he started wrapping the bandages around her leg. At least _that_ didn't hurt.

"Your hands are cold."

"Sorry. Bad circulation." Spooner muttered, concentrating. Calvin squirmed with the effort not to fill the silence and found herself wondering why she had the urge. Usually, it was vice versa. He was always trying to joke or poke fun at her just so he could argue. What had changed?

"Speaking of which, are you still in contact with Sonny?" he asked, not looking up. It surprised her, but she answered quickly.

"Yes. He's doing well. I'm glad the authorities aren't pressing charges."

Spoon grinned, glancing up at her for a moment. "I'll just bet you are."

She frowned at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The smile melted into a smirk, a bit of amusement creeping into his baritone voice. "Not a damn thing."

Calvin resisted the needling urge to kick him. "Don't tell me: you're insisting that I have some kind of romantic attachment to him, right?"

Spooner tore off the end of the bandage and tucked it inside the wrapped part, scooting back and standing up. "Great job, Doc. Admitting the problem means you're halfway there."

She growled at him and lowered her leg while he chuckled, gathering her arms underneath her to push herself to her feet. To her surprise, he held out his hand to help her. Scowling, Calvin took and let go as soon as possible, hating how awkward it would be to stalk off with a limp. She straightened her dark grey jacket and set her shoulders, lifting her chin in defiance.

"Thank you. I'd get someone to fix that crack in the stairs sometime soon before an innocent person ends up breaking their neck."

He had that damned smirk on his face again. "I'll look into it. Just don't sue me."

She made an effort to stare around at his apartment in disdain. "Believe me, I won't."

Spoon shook his head. "Beat it. There's only so much abuse I can take from a beautiful woman. Reminds me too much of my ex-wife."

Calvin pursed her lips together to keep from smiling and headed for the door. He followed her to the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb. She had just passed through it when he spoke again.

"So what did you come by for again?"

Calvin froze in mid-step, her pulse skyrocketing. She had actually…forgotten. She whirled, gesturing to him wildly and trying to keep from stumbling over her words.

"I…I came to update you on Sonny's situation. He and the other NS-5s have been sent to a facility in the Pacific Islands for reprogramming."

Spoon lifted an eyebrow again, regarding her with disbelief in his voice. "Is that so? You know we get updates down at the precinct, right? Try again."

Calvin closed her eyes in annoyance for a moment, mentally cursing herself before continuing. "I'm a psychiatrist, Detective Spooner, I'm_supposed_ to check up on my patients."

"That one made more sense, but you were rushing it. Just admit that you like me a little bit and I'll let you go on your way," he grinned smugly, crossing his arms across his broad chest. Calvin mouthed soundlessly in anger for a moment before letting out a frustrated shriek.

"You are_unbelievable_! Don't think for a second that I have **any** interest in you whatsoever other than the assignment I was give by your superior! I am not attracted to paranoid, arrogant, self-righteous pigs whose ideas of seducing a woman is by insulting her intelligence and implying that she is in love with a robot!"

Fuming, she turned on her heel and got two steps before he grabbed her wrist.

"You are **still** the dumbest smart person I have ever met."

Before she could reply, he jerked her around and laid a firm kiss on her lips. Calvin was too shocked to reply, let alone yell and scream at him like she wanted to only seconds earlier. On the contrary…she actually liked it. A little.

He pulled away first and smiled softly before heading back inside his apartment.

"See ya tomorrow, Calvin."

He shut the door in her astonished face. Her voice came out breathy and weak.

"Bye."

**FIN**

A/N: I AM SO WEIRD FOR WRITING THIS. It just came to me one day after I'd watched the movie and I realized I actually do ship them in my head. Please review and tell me what you think since this is my first attempt at an I, Robot fanfic. Thanks for reading!

Kyoko


	2. You and Your Feelings

**The Dumbest Smart Person**

A/N: I watched _I, Robot_ again the other day and just couldn't resist writing another chapter of this. Even if no one reads/reviews it, I feel better that I have contributed to the tiny fandom pairing that is Calvin/Spooner. Enjoy. :D

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_What am I doing?_ Dr. Susan Calvin thought to herself as she stood outside the door to the apartment of Detective Del Spooner. Her lithe body, strategically hidden by a casual white turtleneck, black jeans, and a comfortable black leather jacket, seemed to be overflowing with nervous energy. By the third time her hand raked through her slightly curled locks, she got a hold of herself and started to regain composure.

"See you tomorrow, he says. He didn't say what time," Calvin muttered to herself in an unpleasant tone, trying to quell that sickening feeling in her stomach she got when she was nervous. It had been a long time since an actual person made her feel this way. The last time she was this anxious was her first public statement for USR. Having a handsome detective unexpectedly kiss you on the mouth tended to make a lady anxious the next time she saw him.

Just as she managed to reach out her fist to knock on the door, it opened and Del Spooner appeared with a dashing smile as his dark chocolate eyes fell on her form. Calvin took a cautionary step back and did not return the smile, feeling too defensive to be pleasant.

"Perfect timing as usual, Doc," Spooner said smoothly, shutting the door behind him. She blinked, peering around one of his broad shoulders to look at the door.

"I'm sorry, were you on your way out?"

Spooner shook his head. "Nah, we've got somewhere to go anyway."

Calvin crossed her arms underneath her chest. "We?"

"Yes, **we**." He replied patiently. "That's what happens when people go on dates, Calvin."

Calvin glared at him, bristling. "This is not a date. I thought you intended to use this time for another therapy session."

Spooner shook his head. "You're right. It's just a man and a woman with an unspoken connection going out for a cup of coffee, commonly known to human beings as a date. But, I must be mistaken. What do they call it in robot shrink world?"

Calvin took a deep breath and let it out through her nose in an attempt to calm herself. "Detective Spooner, I don't have a lot of free time. I have to balance my days off as efficiently as possible."

"Right. See, being a cop I wouldn't know anything about that."

Calvin winced. "I didn't mean it that way, I just meant—"

"Yeah, I know what you meant. That's exactly why I'm taking you out to get a cup of coffee. You're too damn busy all the time." He commented, starting down the stairs. Calvin glared daggers at his back, half wanting to throw something at him because of his natural teasing nature.

"You coming?" he called without stopping. She paused for another second or two and descended the stairs, deciding to give the cocky detective a run for his money.

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In the very least, Spooner was true to his word: he didn't make her sit down at one of those tiny tables inside the Starbucks. He simply paid for their coffees and headed right back out the door, slowing his gait so they could walk down the mostly empty sidewalk. It was late in the afternoon so majority of the people were already at home from work. They made small talk about work, the reaction the country had to V.I.K.I's attack, and reports they'd both gotten on Sonny's progress with the other robots. Little by little, Calvin began to relax as they resumed their normal level of amused disdain for the other person's views. Even so, the more he made her smile, the more she started to think about that damn kiss. It couldn't have been more than four seconds total, but with every grin that crossed his lips, she found herself picturing the instance and how dizzy and confused she'd felt afterwards. Had it really been that long since someone kissed her? Since a man had been interested in her period? But then again, Del Spooner was unlike any man she'd ever met, probably for good reason.

Spooner's fingers waved in front of her face for a moment, making Calvin jump and accidentally spill coffee on the edge of her turtleneck. Dismayed, she immediately tried to blot it out with a couple napkins while her counterpart apologized.

"Damn, sorry."

She tossed a glare up at him. "It figures you'd be the one to ruin my favorite sweater."

Spooner rolled his eyes. "Could you be a little more dramatic? I've got something upstairs that'll take care of that in a second."

Calvin gave him a suspicious look. "Oh, so I suppose I'll just go up to your apartment and take my shirt off, right?"

He grinned. "Damn, Doc, you cut to the chase, don't you?"

She felt her cheeks begin to flush pink and Spooner chuckled, shaking his head. "No, seriously. I will be a perfect gentleman. Scout's honor."

He even raised his hand to accommodate the comment. Calvin gnawed on her bottom lip for a moment as she stared at the dark stain on her hand-woven, snow-white turtleneck. She really did like it.

"Alright, fine. This had better work or I'm going to make you buy me a new one."

Spooner opened the door to the apartment complex, whistling. "I'm buying you presents already? This might be getting serious."

"Spooner…"

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Spooner led her to the bathroom and gave her something to put on while he took care of her sweater. It turned out to be one of his sweatshirts: a large, soft grey one. When she put it on, the sweatshirt nearly reached her knees. Calvin found herself smiling a little bit as she realized she'd never really recognized just how many muscles filled up one of his shirts. The smile started to fade as she caught a look at herself in the mirror, dressed in a man's shirt. Somehow, it felt intensely intimate to her: wearing someone's shirt who she'd only kissed once and even that had been spontaneous. Spooner was definitely changing things in her life. Sad as it was, she felt the need to start pulling away and resume a more professional relationship with the detective.

Finally, Calvin opened the bathroom door and searched about for Spooner, who she found in the kitchen squirting some Shout on her sweater. He grinned when he saw her, and she wasn't sure if it was because of the way she looked in his shirt or the expression on her face as she noticed what he was doing.

"Took you long enough. For a second there, I thought you'd jumped out the window."

Calvin scowled. "The thought crossed my mind. You know, there are much more effective ways of removing that stain."

Spooner shrugged. "Blame GiGi. Nothing beats Shouting It Out."

"You are the most outdated man I have ever met."

He shrugged again. "At least it's an upgrade from 'dumbest dumb person you've ever met'." That made her smile a bit, and she hated it. He knew her too well. Calvin sighed and crossed her arms, leaning her back against the doorframe to the kitchen.

"Detective, I think we need to discuss the nature of our relationship as of late."

"Uh oh. If I'm back to 'detective', something must be wrong."

Calvin closed her eyes for a second. "Fine. Spooner, I don't think our relationship is healthy. It is my professional opinion that we be less involved in each other's lives."

Spooner arched an eyebrow at her. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Calvin resisted the urge to stomp her foot in frustration. "Why do you always do that?"

He paused, his face losing a bit of its humor. "Do what?"

"Make a joke of everything. I'm trying to tell you my honest opinion and you treat it like it doesn't matter."

"That would be because you take everything too seriously, Doc. I don't know about you, but I don't mind being your friend. If it's too much for you then yeah, let's see less of each other." He held out the turtleneck for her to take and he wasn't smiling. Calvin found herself missing the grin. She took the turtleneck, narrowing her eyes.

"If we're just friends, then why did you kiss me?"

He remained silent for a handful of seconds, his dark brown eyes searching hers. "If you have to ask why then maybe you're not that good of a shrink."

Calvin fell silent, shocked by the frankness of his comment. This was the crossroad. He'd given her a way out. She could take the sweater and leave and that would be the end of their closeness. This was what she wanted, right? To go back to her normal life without him and not have to worry about her feelings? But the longer she stared up at him, the more she realized she only felt that way because she was scared of just how much she liked him.

Since she didn't reply, Spooner shook his head and started to walk past her but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. He froze, watching her face carefully. Calvin slowly lifted up on her tiptoes and kissed him, tentatively. After getting over the initial shock, Spooner leaned in a bit and cupped the side of her face. The kiss lasted for a few seconds, but Calvin mentally ranked them as the best seconds of her life. She pulled back first, though, and gave him a shy smile. He smirked, brushing some of her bangs behind her ear.

"You and your feelings. They just run you, don't they?"

FIN


End file.
